His dowdy augite and hoary garments flaccidly hitched upon his spindly frame like rambling lost property from a laundry mat. He wasn’t so much a friend; more of an associate because he once assisted me with some desperately needed cash by taking photographs as I crouched and spread my butt-cheeks for his camera, while his stammering breath would condensate his forehead with a sultry larvae which plashed against flaying wisps of long, stray, waddling hairs. My rectum crooning for the lens in the only way a rectum knows how to croon. These nude art photos were supposedly all going into an art book of some kind. I was a bum in both senses of the word, but voilà, I had cigarettes for a fortnight and occasionally a night out at the pub financed from the odd blow-job I gave him after our photographic sessions, curiously he never blew, he’d grumble “That’s more then enough. I’ll finish myself off later”. He invited me to attend a session of performance poetry by Jesus Giro.. It took a few minutes and mom watched me whilst I added them up.Then when I'd added up each column so that the figures for each day was done, I looked closely at the final figures.It appeared that even though the amounts I had been producing varied a little each time, the daily amounts never showed more that 5-10 millilitres of variance."That's interesting," I said finally."What is?" Mom replied."Look, can you see that the amounts I'm producing each day aren't that much different? That means that even if we miss a collection or two, we could probably just work out an average."Mom smiled at me. "I see," she said. "So what your saying is that we can fuck once or twice a day without worrying about collecting you're cum to measure are you?"I blushed, hearing mom be so blunt."Er...actually I hadn't thought of it that way," I replied, truthfully, as I had been engrossed in working out the figures and what they might mean. "But, I suppose that's one of the outcomes of the results so far," I.
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